We all used to be naive, make lots of mistakes, and could have done more. What we have been through has taught us to become wiser and stronger. Be it a bad or good experience, both are a personal growth process and teach us something. A good experience makes us happy and have good memories. A bad experience teaches us lessons transforming us to be more mature and wiser. The following is a true story based article of mine which I will share about 7 things that I wish I could have realized earlier.
When I looked back to my old self 10 years ago, I realized that I used to value and prioritize wrong things and make lots of wrong decisions. However, the past is past. I have moved on and learnt from the bad experiences. I’m grateful for what happened. Following are the 7 things I have realized in my early 30s.
Having a good boss is better than a high salary.
No one loves to reject a high salary. When I first started looking for a job, I used to prioritize a job title and salary rather than anything else. I did not realize how important my mental health was back then. After I met several toxic bosses who lacked of empathy and humanity, overlooked my well beings, and only focused on the results, I realized how miserable my life was back then. Look for the boss who will treat you like a person, not a machine to generate money for him.
Leaving a toxic boss is better than bearing to get depression.
From personal experience, we should never sacrifice our happiness and mental health for a toxic boss. I have met several bad bosses, and I have lost my enthusiasm of working for others. There was one place that was the worst among those I worked for. Trying to stay there because I did not have another job yet made me almost explode. I finally decided to quit though I did not get another offer because I could not take it anymore, or I would go crazy. I was more than depressed back then. I could not describe that feeling. I was super glad that I could get out of that place. After I left there, I felt a lot much better. I was more healthy and more focused on my new goal. Not long after that, I received a brilliant project, which I did not expect I could get when I was staying in that toxic place. Don’t close the door for yourself. Take a courage to open it and walk out.
Having one true friend is better than having many zombie friends.
When I was younger, I was jealous when I saw someone I knew had more friends than I did. I had a very few friends. However, I used to wonder why that person was still unhappy while she had many friends. One day I found that though she had many people with her, none of them could be with her when she needed them the most. They came to her only because they needed something from her. Unlike me, I had a few friends, but they were very kind and supportive. They were also my best listeners. When I had problems, I could share with them without feeling embarrassed, and they were mostly there for me when I needed them. It’s okay to not have tons of friends. One or two doesn’t matter. Quality is better than quantity.
Having one faithful lover is better than having many boyfriends.
My former high school classmate was the best looking in the class. Everyone complimented on her beauty. A lot of boys were interested in her and wanted her to become their girlfriend. Though she was loved by many boys, she could not meet someone who she could stay in this relationship for long. Another high school classmate of mine was not that pretty, and neither were there many boys who would wish to be her boyfriend. However, she was interested by the only boy who studied in other class next to our classroom. They have been in love since they were in high school, but they never neglected their studies back then. They studied hard together, and successfully graduated together. Nowadays they are husband and wife and will become parents soon. Quality must always be better in this context.
Having a good husband is better than having a rich one.
I have seen a lot in local news which talks about separation of rich couples. The wives thought they could have a better life by marrying the rich husbands. However, life after marriage was not like what they thought it was. Some of the wives decided to divorce the husbands despite how rich the husbands are because those husbands did not treat them nicely and were not faithful. All they wish is a good husband who treats them nicely and is understanding and faithful. A happy and long lasting relationship can’t be built based on external things like wealth, property, or fame, but internal things like true love and loyalty. It must come from within.
Having done what I love is better than caring what others think.
I should have done what I thought I could do back then. I didn’t regret doing it, but I regretted not doing it because I was afraid others did not support it and others said it did not suit me well. I don’t know if my life would be better or worse now if I had done it, but now I can’t go back to that time to do things I really wanted to do. When we try something, we have 2 results- we succeed or we learn. If we don’t try, we get no results. Why not try?
Having met nice people is the best gift I can ever get.
Having met quite lots of bad bosses and people, I have realized I feel the luckiest to have had good people in my life because I have found that trusted and kind people are rare in this world. We easily meet those who will cheat, harm and mistreat us. Having understanding and loyal husband, wife, parents, relatives, friends, and colleagues in our life is the hardest thing to achieve. They play a major role in our life prosperity. If you ask me, they are my number one thing to get. Value people for their kindness and authenticity.
After all, I am not scaring you by writing what I have been through above. We are in different places and situations. We will experience various good and bad things no matter what because this is an inevitable process of personal growth. Therefore, the best thing you can do is when you meet a good experience, claim it before it’s gone. When you meet a bad one, just accept it and conquer it. Let the bad experience touch you, but don’t let it kill you.
From the bitterest experience, comes with the greatest awakening.Jim Rohn